It has been a bit of an icky time for me. My family has had some problems as of late with broken bones and illness. I have people wanting me to go and take care of everything and fix their problems. I have people who want more of my time. I have people telling me to let others take care of themselves. I feel pulled in all directions, like a piece of taffy. You know how when you pull on taffy, it gets long and stringy? Well, this is the most stringy I've been, or at least it sure feels that way.
I can't say, do, or think anything to please anyone. I'm irritated and restless, depressed and angry. I'm scared of people, scared of upsetting and disappointing them. My PMS/PMDD has been raging into my period, for whatever reason. I'm tired of crying, tired of moving, tired of trying to converse. I feel as though I should just hibernate as I just get more stressed and stress others out.
Whew, that felt good. I needed to get some of that out. I'm really glad I have the music I do on this blog, it helps me.
Now for some positive. Even with the arguing, crying, and everything else, I still have good moments now. Things that make me smile:
- babies and little kids (A friend's little boy is just so funny to see and hear about. I met a little girl yesterday that had just a tish of a Southern accent and called her mom Ma'am. It was too cute to hear her talk. And a girl I am getting to know seems to be how I would have been when I was little. She's active and fun, wears jeans, skirts, scarves, and doesn't give a hoot to what people think of her. Gosh, I hope that keeps on for her. I'm going to be as supportive and encouraging as I can to her.)
- Flowers! Peonies and lilacs have been blooming. We have some pink peonies right by the door of where I work. I like to smell them when I come and go.
- Music! I like to listen to bands like Yes, Chicago, Kansas, Boston, Rolling Stones, Beatles, etc. There are so many songs and artists I like. Seriously, my music list is just what I needed now.
- I've been trying to eat healthy though I'm emotional right now. I like veggies and fish a lot. And I have to have my coffee and tea, though I've been drinking too much coffee again. It's not good to binge but there is worse and more expensive things I could be doing.
Anyway, I have something to do so I'm cutting this short. It helped a lot. Take care! *hugs* <3
Hi Friend! Thanks for your sweet comments. You are so kind.
ReplyDeleteListen, I say let them take care of themselves. Do what you want to do. You know that your heart is good and that you want to be kind and helpful, so trust that you will be ENOUGH. What you have to offer is enough. Those who make demands of you don't have to know this, you do and I know that God does.
That's just my two cents. I really care and want you to be kind to yourself.
xoxo
Good advice from Vicki. Thanks for sharing IK. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteHi ik, I'm sorry to hear you are struggling and feel pulled. Vicki took the words right out of my mouth, actually. I know I struggle with putting others ahead of me and my needs. Sometimes I don't even know how I feel and what I need, all I hear are how I'm needed and my guilt. But it's so worth it to listen to what you need deep down and try to honor that no matter how manipulative or disappointed other people get. If we don't take care of ourselves we have nothing to give anyway. I hate that what I'm saying sounds advice too. Bit I mean it in the best most supportive way. That it's ok to put your needs first. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You are a good person. Love and hugs to you. Please take care and be gentle with yourself :) (((IK))) :)
ReplyDeleteIt is all about balance.. you can do so much each day.. and make time for you first always (hugs)
ReplyDeleteIK; I love that you not only have but see and accept the good moments . It makes the ride worhtwhile and over time the good moment increase. I am glad that your blog by now turned into a place where you more openely vent and share your pain. Since I came here first, you have become so much more REAL, so much more AUTHENTIC.
ReplyDelete