In one week, I will be having another birthday. Unlike many, I do not dread my birthday. With each year, I learn more and grow, no matter what bad may happen. Birthdays were always a big deal for my family. It was nice to have some people be glad I was born. I had very few friends growing up, so birthdays were more of a family affair. So while they were depressing in that I had no friends that wanted to celebrate, it was also stressful for another reason. A lot of cleaning had to happen due to hoarding, and us kids did a bulk of it. Also, the fact that this cleaning had to be done caused a lot of tension and fighting, none of it from us kids as we were too busy doing the work. We were trying to look perfect and normal to other gossipy relatives, but that didn't help. Not all of it was bad. My grandma made tasty and lovely cakes and we always had plenty of good food. With company, whatever tension there was was stuffed down. Things almost felt peaceful, though artificial.
As I have gotten older, birthdays have been more about solitude. There are people who still care, some that don't. Most people I know don't take birthdays very seriously. Even with all the tension and conflict back then, I learned that birthdays were important. So, I still see them that way. I try to let others know that they are cared about and that I'm happy that they are alive. There's not much worse than to realize someone wishes you didn't exist.
To finish this rather taxing post off, I would like to share some ways to celebrate yourself, regardless if it's your birthday. I would like to do some of this on my birthday.
- Make art for yourself. Be it paint, pencil, or clay: create something beautiful and meaningful for you.
- Take a long, slow walk. In general, we are all so busy and preoccupied. No matter where you walk, you release good chemicals and take some time to enjoy existing in this world.
- Show kindness. Smile, say hello, et cetera. There are many ways to be kind without harming oneself or acting codependent.
- Indulge in good food.
- Take in some different beauty. Whether in a museum, a park, a forest, et cetera, find some beauty you don't usually see/hear/sense.
Happy Birthday. I am glad that you have some good memories of birthdays. So far for me, each decade that I experience has been better than the decade before.
ReplyDeleteGoo and loving thoughts. I cant remember that I ever loved my birthday. Maybe it is because I am in the process of being born right now.
ReplyDeletei feel the same as you in that i see my birthday as a positive thing. i enjoy growing older and learning more each year. i also see the birthday time as a chance to practice self-love. and choose to have around me only those closest, those who i feel appreciate that i was born. but definitely it is a great day to do loving things for ourselves. i suppose i should treat more days as though they were my bday :)
ReplyDeletehappy birthday, IK ~~
This WAS such a good idea for the Feb theme of THE BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE. Thanks for the celebration list--great ideas!
ReplyDeleteI have mixed feelings about birthdays. I want it to be my special day, yet I am afraid of being disappointed. Not sure why. I think it is a combination of being trained to not put people out...yet wanting to feel that I am special enough to some people for them to want to be put out for me. Not sure if that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteOf course, now there is the added stress of my birthday also being the anniversary of my sister's death. Soooo many mixed feelings.
Thank you for hosting the carnival. I just recently found out about it.
Happy Birthday and thank you for hosting the blog carnival. I'm very new to the blog world, but so far the experience has been wonderful thanks to people like you.
ReplyDeletePatricia - Thanks for the birthday wishes! It seems as I get older and wiser, life just gets better.
ReplyDeletePaula - Well, you have made a lot of progress! You are an inspiration!
katie - I never thought of it as a day of self-love until this year. Each day is special, I guess I should be treating myself more special each day too.
Marj - I'm very pleased with how this carnival turned out! I was soo nervous about it.
survivor - Oh, your mixed feelings make plenty of sense! I don't want to trouble others, yet I would like it if they wanted to make a special effort. Your sister's death definitely clouds it further.
insaneheartoo - Thanks for the wishes and for visiting! I still feel pretty new to this myself. I am glad that I could help make your experience more positive!