I have been told that my maturity is closer to a teen now; less tantrums, more self-discovery, a different sort of confusion. Some child-like tendencies still exist, but I can see improvement. Awareness and understanding are slowly seeping in, taking over the fear. The fear is still there, of abandonment and worthlessness.
I seem to still have difficulty with traits of my own that differ from others. I am realizing more and more that such thinking is mine, not what others think. Not everyone dislikes me for being different, I dislike me for that. I am realizing how many words I am putting into other's mouths.
Dear One, you know I can relate so much when it omes to the deep engrained feeling of worthlessness. You are doing so great, I am freaking proud of you. You do all this tough work without the complex support I am having here to see me through. Your pot of flowers made me smile, sorry I dont know the name of the flowers in English. In German they are called "Stiefmütterchen" ( please dont break your tongue!) and I adore them. Particularly in my fav color orange like the one you sent me. Love from Munich
ReplyDeleteSounds very promising. You are on your way. Proud of you! Blessings IK.
ReplyDeletePaula: I may not have a therapy program or what have you, but I do have the steadfast support of a very good friend. My friend sees the good in me and believes I can conquer the negative feelings and reactions. That has helped me a lot. Hehe, we call those flowers pansies, I think they are lovely!
ReplyDeleteJBR: I almost dislike making such posts because I'm not out of the woods yet. I have my good days and my bad. Just have to keep on going. Thanks for your thoughts!