Children of Hoarders

*** Warning - May be triggering or painful

Today, I wanted to post about a website I found yesterday. I saw an ad about some show filming and humiliating a family of hoarders. I have heard about hoarding before but decided to do some more reading about it. It reminds me of what I grew up with and some of the tendencies I myself have.

Looking through this website, one part worth noting:

Along with difficulties in throwing things away, compulsive hoarders have severe difficulties making decisions, perfectionism, and avoiding tasks. People with compulsive hoarding syndrome do not like to make mistakes. To prevent making a mistake, they will avoid or postpone making decisions. Even the smallest task, such as washing dishes or checking mail may take a long time because it has to be done "right." The net result of these high standards and the fear of making a mistake is that compulsive hoarders avoid doing many tasks, because everything becomes tedious and overwhelming.

Much of this website goes into children who have lived in hoarding homes and the impact of it. However, what really stuck out for me was the explanations about the hoarders themselves. It sounds like living in a controlling and critical environment is a factor with who hoards.

I feel like I understand my mother better now, and her mother as well. I think about all the tension, fighting, and chaos caused by misunderstanding. People just thought she was lazy or didn't care, but looking back, I just think she was overwhelmed. This all makes me so sad.

As I have learned more and more about abuse and alcoholism and how these factors impact people, I feel that I understand many people so much more. Why they say what they do, why they act as they do, it slowly makes more sense.