I finally went to my first CODA meeting last night. Timing has been an issue for me and I have also been procrastinating. Though I read up on such meetings quite a bit, I was not sure what to expect. In recent years, I have also become a lot more shy around women and this was a women's only meeting.
When I first entered the room, I got a bit intimidated by one woman staring at me. She probably wasn't actually staring, but I felt intimidated already and so being looked at made it worse. However, I was able to get past that and find myself a seat. Though I noticed that one woman looking at me a lot, I found the atmosphere very friendly and welcoming. It was interesting to be in a room of women with varied ages and lives but who had being codependent in common.
I may have gotten looked at a bit because I was probably disheveled from riding my bike six miles on a very windy day. I probably looked a little odd with my Gilligan's hat still on to cover up my wind hair. Oh well, I'm just happy I made it. I was very worried I'd be late. Though, that seemed ok, as a few women came in later and it seemed fine.
I am not sure why, but I did not expect it to be so formal. I had to remind myself that this was a 12-step meeting, like any other. Introducing myself as codependent was a new thing for me, that's for sure.
After the required reading and donation basket, a member led the meeting with the topic of worry. She read from 'The Language of Letting Go'. After that, we were split into two groups for sharing. I was not sure if I was going to share until someone said something that got me thinking. I have been thinking a lot as of late about forgiving myself and how I blame myself for the mistakes and problems of others. With this blame, comes worry that I screwed up other people, that their lives were my responsibility. So I talked about how I realize that when I do forgive myself, I will also release a lot of worry from the past. It was neat to see how what people shared inspired others to share. After all the sharing, there was the CODA prayer and then it was done.
Many of the women chatted with me and encouraged me to come back. I was also given a CODA newcomer's handbook. While I have read so much about codependency online, it is so nice to have a summarized resource like this.
I look forward to going back. I just have to make sure I'm not cross-talking. Anyway, I should go. *hugs* <3
way to go for going to the meeting. I know how hard it is to walk into a place alone...
ReplyDeleteawesome job going to the meeting and talking as well well done
ReplyDeleteGlad you were excited to attend and look forward to return. Kuddos to you dear one.
ReplyDeleteYeah, great job. Yes you preocrastinated. Yet what counts is that you did go, did stay and did share, did feel welcome. That are plenty of "did's" I didnt managed for some months into Al Anon many years ago. So well done. Congratulations, by the way, I love when wind tousles my hair and I love head covers of any kind. I would have looked at you often, just because you like minded....
ReplyDeletewishing you a wonderful weekend.
sounds great! :) i am glad you felt comfortable enough to share and that you got something out of the meeting. i wish there were a women's only group in my area. sounds very good.
ReplyDeletetalk with you more soon! hugs~~~
Passing by, hope you are doing ok. Hugs across the pond
ReplyDeleteHugs to you... !! I'm so glad you went and found it helpful.
ReplyDeleteI was at ACOA today and someone told me how helpful it would be for me to go to a Coda meeting; especially when you find a really good one.. !!!
hugs
Hugs to you. Have a magic weekend
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your CODA meeting went well. And good for you for riding your bike there! I try to ride my bike or walk a lot of places.
ReplyDeleteI found Alanon meetings helpful in the past and think some of the 12 steps are very helpful.