I don't know what caused it, but today I remembered a children's book that used to be popular. Specifically, I remembered a line from it: "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be." And I thought to myself, 'I want to be someone's baby!'
That feeling is still quite strong and makes me tear up. But I had to get some work done and I told myself that I can't break down now about this but it'll be ok. I visualized soothing my inner child with a banana popsicle (a childhood favorite).
Now in addition to work, I have schooling to deal with. This knitting room seems to be in complete disarray and I don't know what to do to get on the right track. Many repressed feelings and memories are spilling out. I feel like I'm in high school again, a big awkward dork. However, now I don't have that reassurance of pleasing some people in my life. I know I need to make myself happy, it has just been difficult detaching my happiness from other people's happiness.
I'm not really sure how to put my life in order but I better figure something out. Thanks to all with your kind comments! They make my day!
Dear one take it one day at a time, one baby step at a time. That is what I am trying to do.... ((((IK))))
ReplyDeletethe otehrs in here have gone back to study and all i can see is stuff everywhere also
ReplyDeleteDEar One, learning to pelase oneself is not easy, particularly not when one has pelased everyone else first. it is ok, to feel confused. You are very much aware about the issues in disarray. hence you can take steps to sort yourself out. Small steps always leaving a bit time to celebrate the success. Hugs across the pond
ReplyDeleteI can't believe how much you were able to say in this one short post. I love that book, BTW; I used to read it to my son. I guess we just have to baby ourselves now. Just remember: You're worth it and you deserve it!
ReplyDelete((((hugs))))
ReplyDeleteThat's a beautiful quote. We all have the need for love and many of us are struggling and fighting and crying to get it. Really great to learn how to sooth and love yourself! Banana popsicle sounds yummy :)
ReplyDeleteDear IK, since we came in contact I became to appreciate your efforts and struggle in bettering you, in re-creating a life for you. I ahev an award for you over at my place.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you.
Paula
HEy IK,
ReplyDeleteI just sat here and sang I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be, just for you. I sang the melody that I made up when I sang that phrase to my babies all those year ago.
I hope you are feeling better this week, please forgive me for taking so long to get here, I will always be here, as long as I'm living.
♥
(((IK))))
ReplyDelete