The other day, I was admiring a used bookstore and its variety of contents. One book I found was 'Codependent No More' by Melody Beattie, which I bought. In my eagerness, I've been flying through it. There is something to be said when you find your innermost thoughts and feelings typed up in a book. I wonder if I have overdone it a bit as now I'm a bit down. They say awareness is the first step and acceptance is the second. I seem to be struggling with accepting my codependency. I believe I am, but I don't like it one bit. I feel more guilt and shame when codependent thoughts or behavior show up. I have to remind myself that change does not happen overnight.
Well, I do have stuff to share from that book when I get a chance to finish it and pick out parts. I also have more to share related to my last post on emotional maturity and boundaries. There's a bit to pick through there.
Can relate not only because I have the same book. I doubt that anyone like to be co-dependent. I found it frightening how deep affected I am. How much it affects all and everything I do. But you know what after the first feeling of being "down" (have been there too, went through the same when reading the book) you know, I was glad that these collectiong of symptoms has a name. I have a diagnosis, I dont have to feel "nuts" anymore about my symptoms, my mind prefers the clarity and then I can roll up sleeves and work on it. And it means I can be healed. There are so many crippling illnesses which u have your entire life, this one can be healed. Keep you in my thoughts. Hugs
ReplyDeleteI usually get all excited, then amazed and enlightened then depressed when I read a psychology/self help book. I've read so much I feel like my head could explode. Sometimes I have to take a break, do physical things outside of my head to try and keep the balance. If I'm getting weighed down I leave it for a bit and do something that makes me feel good about myself. Then go back to it. Like Vicki said, allow yourself the time to process stuff. I have a tendency to be hard on myself and reading books sometimes makes me aware of even more personal flaws to beat myself up about. If you're going down that road write down all your wonderful qualities and remember you are that too x :)
ReplyDeletePaula - such good points! I feel grateful for being healthy in other ways and should remember that when I think of codependency.
ReplyDeleteSoD - I have not read many myself, most of my info comes online. But you explained my cycle through the first half of the book. My problem with listing good stuff is that I can always find exceptions to what's good. It's more black/white thinking on my part.
That book is a doozy!! First thing my therapist assigned me to read! I thought he Was Crazy!
ReplyDeleteAnyway... well denial is real.
Thinking about you. Be kind to yourself and remember that you are made up of many many colors not just one.
♥ Vicki
You wouldn't be wonderful you if you didn't have 'good parts' and 'bad parts'. And already you've been red and green on here as well as black and white :)
ReplyDeleteThat is an excellent book. It was an eye opener to me.
ReplyDeleteThis is an excellent book. I think you have to take it slow, though. Many of the self-help books can be overwhelming. I'd like to see more about your work with it when you get a chance. You know, I'm noticing that many of your "self-help" posts would be excellent for THE BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE. The details are on that sidebar widget thingy at my blog.
ReplyDeleteBTW: I'm catching up on things and I got a link up to you on my sidebar. Thanks for linking to me.