First off, I want to remind everyone that the deadline for the blog carnival is this Wednesday. The submissions will be up this Friday. I have gotten a lot of great submissions so far, keep them coming!
As I was reading about the twelve steps (in regards to Coda), I got curious about what atheists did. I know a lot of atheists and so I was looking into that. Some people make revisions to the twelve steps and some people use Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy. I found the ABCs model, both from REBT (RET) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy rather useful. That Cognitive Behavioral Therapy link also has a list of how we distort our beliefs. Another good link I just discovered here.
The ABC model seems to be a wonderful way to stop and think about the negative beliefs we commonly consult. For example, some negative beliefs I have are that others don't care, others take me for granted, others expect me to take care of them, et cetera. Now, these beliefs didn't come from nowhere, I learned them from prior experience and I still have experiences where such beliefs are valid. However, there are many times when the other person does not feel that way at all. Thus, friction and conflict occur because I make negative assumptions via my beliefs. This all goes into idealism and passive-aggressiveness for me as well. I know that coping.org had those pages, but now it looks like livestrong.com does not. I liked coping.org for its simple format but hey, the info's still there.
hi IK, another highly relevant post for me. thank you so much for sharing this and for the helpful links! *which, btw, the link for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy didn't work. i tried it a few times, it just kept taking me back to my dashboard, is this just me? - i say this not to be an annoying perfectionist, but because i really wanted to see what that link said :)
ReplyDeletebut yes, i love the ABC's and have really benefitted from trying to sort out my "irrational beliefs" that i use in my thinking, the negative assumptions i project onto people's behavior.
thank you for writing about this topic. so helpful!
Thank you for pointing out the link issue! I also found another neat link while I was trying to relocate the website. I'm glad you found this helpful! This is a big area for me, I hope to get so that such rational thought becomes second nature like those negative assumptions.
ReplyDeleteIK, thank you for hosting and sharing. Blessings.
ReplyDeletethanks IK, i wanted to let you know that i went on and wrote a post about this issue after being inspired by yours and another's blog post also talking about unlearning. so i put a link back to your post and hers. wanted to let you know i did that.
ReplyDeleteif for any reason you don't want me linking to your blog, please let me know and i won't hesitate to remove the link.
:) katie
After reading this post, I went to Amazon and order 3 of Albert Ellis' books on changing your behaviors. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for looking at these negative beliefs. It's a biggie issue for me as well. Thanks for the links, too!
ReplyDelete